Worried

I am really not a fan of the first trimester. Everything feels so uncertain. I want to be excited about having a new baby, but instead I find myself not wanting to get too attached in case something happens. It's still very early days after all. I keep thinking that I've been too lucky. I've fallen pregnant so easy each time, and have had two complication free pregnancies. Surely my luck has run out? Surely it must be my turn to have a miscarriage or something? I don't know - I just feel a bit doom and gloom about it all today. I think part of it is because I don't feel as sick as I feel I should. I think by now in both my previous pregnancies I was feeling pretty awful and having food aversions to a lot of foods. I have been feeling a bit off and am having to force myself to eat a few things, but it's nothing compared to what it was like the last few times. As much as that early nausea, etc sucks, as it least it gave me some peace of mind. Now, I just don't know.

I wish now that I had ordered that early scan when the GP asked about it. I was thinking in terms of saving money and having as few scans as necessary, etc. But now I wish I had, just for peace of mind. There's still probably another month, maybe less till I have a scan. Such a long time to wait. I dread the thought of having a missed miscarriage... plodding along thinking everything is fine, only to find baby passed away at 6 weeks.

I just hate the waiting. I am trying to keep busy, but even then I'm always thinking about the pregnancy. Everything feels so slow.

Anyway, sorry for the downer post. Hopefully I'm feeling more positive next time.