8 weeks

8 weeks today.

I've had a rough few days over the weekend, feeling very off. Yesterday I had my first spew for this pregnancy. I'm not even sure what triggered it. We'd been out shopping, I'd had a few things to eat while we were out that I thought went down okay... but on the car ride home I started feeling really unwell, and once we got home and I walked inside, the smells in our house and fridge overwhelmed me and I thought it might happen. I went outside for some fresh air, and not long after I chucked all over the ground. It just kept coming - I doubt I had anything left in my stomach. Poor Adele saw me, and she has a weak stomach. She ended up gagging and then vomiting a little too, poor thing.
I felt okay after my spew, but only for about 10 minutes. Then the nausea came back, and I felt really, really awful for the rest of the day - worse than I've felt all pregnancy.
I had a big sleep last night, and I've woken this morning feeling a bit better, so I'm hoping that will last.

I told another friend, Alice, yesterday via text. We were texting about meeting up next weekend before Christmas (she usually buys presents for the kids), and she mentioned drinks and nibbles. So, I said back "Might have to count me out of drinks though..." to which she immediately guessed my news. She was among the first to know my previous two pregnancies, so it's nice to have her know this too. I think I'm just getting desperate to tell people because I feel so rotten. It's getting harder and harder to hide.

I weighed myself this morning, and I am now down to 69.4kg. So, apparently to lose weight I didn't need to be exercising 5-6 days a week and eating healthy... I just needed to fall pregnant and lose interest in food and live almost exclusively on carbs. It's not healthy weight loss obviously. Some of it could very well be muscle loss, seeing as I'm doing very little exercise now too. I had such good intentions, and I still do for when I'm feeling better... but I really am just in survival mode. I am eating whatever I can tolerate, and the only exercise I have managed in the last week has been a couple of walks. I am still aiming to get to Pilates and maybe yoga this week, as well as get out for a few walks, but I can never guarantee anything. It depends how I am feeling at that point in time.

Emotionally I am all over the place. I am feeling kind of down a lot of the time, mostly due to feeling so crappy. It feels never ending. I have a few moments of feeling good and normal, and they usually coincide with me feeling a bit better physically. They seem to be fleeting though. I haven't completely lost my sense of humour though, and I try to distract myself whenever possible. Like I said, I am very much in survival mode. I'll be glad when I can tell my parents and don't need to hide how crappy I'm feeling to them. Plus, they'll both be on holidays soon and might be able to babysit a bit. It's just this last week I need to get through where I have the kids by myself. After that hubby will be home and parents are off work - there will be plenty of people to amuse the kids for me, and hopefully I'll be able to rest plenty and just get through the next few weeks. Bring on second trimester.

And here is my weekly photo. Managed to muster up a smile for the photo. Still no big change in my belly, I think? I can't tell. I'm just all lumpy and bumpy through the middle, bloating doesn't help. I still fit my jeans, as in I can still do them up - but my morning sickness makes it awful to wear anything even slightly restrictive over my stomach, so I'm basically living in trackies and any other lose fitting pants.

Planning on  baking shortbread today to give out as Christmas presents, so hopefully that will keep me busy and pass some time.