23 weeks

I had a much better week this week, thank goodness. I had one day (Friday I think) where I woke up in a funk and it took me most of the day to get out of it, but at least I was aware I was just in a bad mood, and managed to get through the day without too many bad moments with the kids. To be honest, I think I was just burnt out... I had had such a good week and been on top of everything - I think I was exhausted. It's subtle right now, but being pregnant definitely does take its toll on my energy... I'm used to being go-go-go all the time, and I just can't be doing that constantly. I need to remind myself to rest every now and then.

My little bubba bump has been getting more active, and the movements are getting much stronger. I have tried to get the kids to feel a few times, but as soon as they try bubba stops moving, of course! I can feel her kick from the outside pretty easily now though, so I'm sure it's just a matter of time. Hubby has still only felt kicks that one time - I'll have to remember to get him to have a feel. That's the thing - this pregnancy is so in the background most of the day, I just don't even think of it!

I had my second midwife appointment with the lovely Anna on Thursday just gone. She came to my house again and we had a chat about birth and natural living, etc. She is such a wealth of knowledge - I could listen to her all day! She was very tolerant of my kids too, who were very excited to have a visitor and were all in her face and trying to talk to her most of the time she was here. Anyway, she did all the checks - my wee (very good apparently), blood pressure (same as last time), feel of my belly and a listen with the doppler (I couldn't hear the heartbeat, but she got a reading through my placenta I think she said). All pretty boring really, which is what we want! I'll see her again in about 6 weeks... by then I'll be 28 weeks! Yikes!
The only other thing she mentioned was about what reading I had done so far. None is the answer. Last pregnancy I was so passionate about getting my VBAC that I was always reading and gearing myself up. Plus, I had Mel living nearby, also pregnant who was my own personal VBAC cheerleader. This time I am so much busier (seriously, having two kids compared to one placid toddler makes an amazing amount of difference) that I have not had time to read anything. I will though. I have my trusty Ina May on the bookshelf, as well as The Silent Knife to remind myself that VBAC is in fact safe for the most part. I'm not sure what else I want to read yet. Positive birth stories are always good.

I have had a much better week with the healthy pregnancy. I have eaten really well (until the weekend haha, when I had a chocolate party) and I got in some exercise. I think I went to the gym twice as well as a couple of walks (one very decent walk that I'm still recovering from!). I didn't make it to yoga this weekend - so I have missed it two weeks in a row now. This weekend was just so busy! I'm hoping to make it next weekend. The further along in the pregnancy I get, the more important that class will become, as it is very much about preparing for birth.

My belly is really growing, and I'm slowly starting to notice it in my movements and centre of gravity. It's so early, but I sometimes feel like I'm already waddling a little! Anyway, here is this week's belly pic:

17 weeks till my due date, just under 4 months. This pregnancy is going too fast!

22 weeks

Far out time, where are you going? 22 weeks (yesterday), and after a pretty crappy week last night, I am feeling pretty good now.

Last week I was in a complete slump. I had a slight cold, and I just was not coping - with anything. I was snapping at the kids all the time and feeling kind of depressed. I was feeling exhausted all the time, which I found so frustrating because I couldn't keep up with housework, etc. I was eating crap food and didn't exercise at all. It was just a bad, bad week. Then, to top off my bad week I had a couple of days where I barely felt bubba move. I was starting to stress, but she has made herself known since, so all is good.

So yeah, not a great week. I had a really good day yesterday though, and am feeling pretty good now - so I guess I'll just put it down to a bad week. Maybe I was sicker than I realised? Anyway, I'm good now.

I have been buying myself some more maternity clothes. The weather here is starting to cool down, and before long we'll be in winter... so I've been trying to plan ahead and buy things for the cooler months. I have a few things coming from ASOS, a top coming from Jeanswest online and I bought some new jeans and a top from Jeanswest in the city yesterday too. It's really nice to buy myself some new things - wardrobe options are definitely getting limited these day. Accommodating the bump means there isn't much in my regular wardrobe that still fits!

Like I said, I am definitely getting bigger. I think I mentioned last week that I had had a few strangers make comments. Well it keeps on happening now. Just this morning I had one of the school mums ask me how long I had to go, and if we knew what we were having, etc. Then at Launching into Learning (I take the little miss every Tuesday), another mum there asked me the same questions. Obviously people aren't scared to ask - it must be kinda obvious, haha!

I mentioned that my eating last week had been pretty bad, and I was feeling pretty awful as a result. So, I've been taking back control of what I'm eating - and I've been eating really well so far this week. Lots more fruit and veg, and trying to up my protein as well. I'm hoping eating better will help with my energy levels. I had a green choc smoothie yesterday for breakfast for the first time in ages, and it was so nice. I'd forgotten how good they were. We're getting into soup season here too, so I've been making lots of soups for lunch, packed with veggies and sometimes chicken.

I did have plans of going to the gym last night, but I was honestly so exhausted from a busy day that I just couldn't. I do plan on going tonight though, so I'm going to try and take a bit easier this afternoon. I also need to go into the gym so I can cancel my membership... we need to save some money, and I am not getting heaps out of the gym right now, so it makes sense to cancel it. I'll just try doing more walks, swimming, yoga and a few gentle exercises at home.

I also mentioned earlier in this post about how bubba bump had a very quiet couple of days, and how it was starting to stress me out. Thankfully she was super active yesterday, and in the evening while we were watching TV I had a go at feeling some kicks from the outside, and I could! Hubby had a go at feeling, and to begin with bubba stopped once he put his hand on. Then she started kicking again, hubby put his hand on, and he got to feel heaps of kicks! I love this part! I'm hoping I can get the little man and little miss to feel some kicks soon too. I have no idea what they'll think!

I had a really lovely moment last night. Hubby, the kids and I were sitting at the table eating tea, like we do every night... and I was looking around at them, then felt bubba bump give a good little kick. I just had a really lovely, overwhelming sense of contentment. My life is going how I wanted it to. The feeling only lasted a moment, but it was so nice. I really struggle to live in the moment, to appreciate the moment... it's something I need to focus on.

Lastly... here is my belly pic for the week. Growing so big, so very very very big.

21 weeks

Here I am, 21 weeks, and I can finally say I am feeling my little bubba bump move. Not a great deal and not very strong - but consistent enough now that I can be sure that is my little bubba. As I type she is giving me a few gentle jabs in the cervix. I haven't had a great deal of time to focus on this development - but every now and then when I get a quiet moment (usually lying in bed at night) I feel a few movements and find myself smiling. It's pretty special, this part of pregnancy. I found a poem on facebook the other day that describes this special time perfectly:

I weighed myself this morning (I actually remembered!) and I am sitting at 77.65kg. My weight is definitely jumping up a lot now. I'm trying not to think about it, or let it worry me. It is hard to know how much is normal pregnancy gain, and how much is from my chocolate consumption though!

I have genuinely been trying to eat better this week, and I sort of am. I made the healthy coconut rough (made with dates, coconut, cacao powder and coconut cream), and I have been having pumpkin soup for lunch, and porridge for breakfast a bit. I'm not having any cravings, but I do find I get hungry often and want to eat, eat, eat!

The exercise side of things I find easier. I have gone to the gym and gone for walks (including a loop of the gorge and zig zag track!) and did my pregnancy yoga. Pregnancy yoga yesterday was actually really hard - we hold warrior two for two whole minutes, and man does your thigh burn!!! My back leg was shaking, I really struggled - but I made it.

After yoga yesterday the class got talking about birth, and as it turns out, pretty well everyone was going through Anna/independent midwife, or knew her in some capacity. We spent a bit of time talking about natural birth and the disappointment in the hospital system, etc and how amazing home birth is! It was so lovely to be among like-minded people talking openly and passionately about birth. It reminded me how strongly I feel about the whole thing! I guess it got me thinking about my birth too - before now it hadn't really been in my thoughts at all and I was a bit worried I wasn't going to feel prepared or be excited like I was last time... but I think as the time approaches and I read more I will. For now it just seems like so long away.

And here is my belly pic for this week. Definitely growing. The little miss wouldn't move, so she is included in this week's photo haha! I had my first pregnancy comment from a complete stranger over the weekend. The cashier at the petrol station asked 'How long have you got?' - it actually took me a few moments to click that she was asking about my pregnancy. That question makes me think she thought I was a lot further along than I am too! As I left she even said 'Good luck'. Anyway, it's still nice when the outside world can definitely tell you're pregnant, not just fat.

I'm looking forward to movements getting stronger over the next few weeks, and next week I have my next appointment with my midwife Anna. Can't wait!

20 weeks! (Kinda, sorta halfway)

This is really weird... I am 20 weeks pregnant today. I'm about halfway through - or at least over the next week I will reach my true halfway point (I anticipate going over 40 weeks). The second half of this pregnancy should be better hopefully. No morning sickness, I'll actually look pregnant, and hopefully feel a bit more pregnant... especially once this baby starts actually giving me some decent kicks!

I honestly thought I would have felt more by now. This is my third pregnancy, and even with the anterior placenta, I just thought that surely by 20 weeks I would have felt some decent kicks. I mean, I'm pretty sure I have felt a few movements, maybe even a little kick or two, but not much. I'm just being impatient. I have spent the past week subconsciously waiting for some big kicks. Every night when I finally sit down on the couch to unwind, I find myself poking at my tummy, just hoping for a movement.
I do think I felt a nice little kick over the weekend though. We were in Devonport meeting up with hubby's dad and partner because they hadn't seen the little man for his birthday yet. We had lunch at McDonalds, and while hubby was ordering I was at the table, sitting down and leaning forward, kind of squishing my belly. Bubba must not have liked being squished, because I'm pretty sure I felt a kick. It's probably the most sure I've been of feeling a kick. I told hubby on the drive home, and he sounded excited. He asked if I could remember how long it was between me feeling kicks and being able to feel them from the outside... I guess he's pretty keen to feel something too. I'd love for hubby and the kids to feel bubba. That's a special moment to look forward to.

Anyway, apart from me impatiently waiting for more movements, this week has been good. I must be growing - I had a friend mention that my tummy had grown a lot since she last saw me. I've been a little tired, but nothing too bad. I thought I might have felt a bit more connected to bubba since the scan, but I still only sort of feel pregnant. I guess perhaps that is a good sign in a way - it must mean I'm finding this pregnancy relatively easy? The scan was awesome, bubba was so active and I absolutely loved watching all the wriggles and seeing all those little fingers and toes... I do wish we'd had a more definite answer about the gender though. I'd love to go around saying 'her' 'she', etc, but I don't feel confident enough in what we were told to do that... I don't want to go around believing this bubba is a girl, and then being shocked when bubba is born and ends up being a boy. I have still bought a couple of girly items though. The little miss picked the super-bright pink suit haha!

I've been going okay with exercise this week. I went to the gym twice to do my program, went for a walk with mum, and had pregnancy yoga yesterday. I am finding that the gym workouts really make me tired though. My whole body feels tired for a couple of days afterwards. I have also been pretty flat out all week... I need to remind myself to take it a bit more easy. I'll just have to listen to my body, and maybe make an effort to rest/sit down a bit more often.
The eating side of things... mmm. Not great. A lot of chocolate has been consumed. Oops.

And here we go, 20 week belly pic. I'm surprised at how the size of my belly changes so much day to day, and throughout the day. Going to be getting massive from here on in!

19 weeks 1 day

19 weeks 1 day... I did actually open this and start it yesterday, but never got a chance to finish.

Anyway, I'm almost halfway and growing, growing, growing! I can definitely feel my belly beginning to tighten, and the start of my belly button wanting to start popping out. I'm actually starting to really believe that I look pregnant, not just pudgy round the middle, haha. Like I've mentioned, my weeks just seem to be passing by in a blur... which this past week I was glad of, cause it meant I didn't have time to dwell on or worry about the upcoming scan. Still, as my scan got close I couldn't help but worry - especially as I'm still not feeling much in the way of movements. A few possible ones, but not much.

Anyway, after a busy day yesterday (meet up with friends in the morning, lunch at mum and dad's, school pick up), it was time for my scan. We got to the hospital (St Lukes - had never been there before) and waited, and waited... my full bladder did not appreciate the waiting! Oh, and the kids were starting to get crazier and louder the longer we were waiting. Anyway, eventually I was called in and straight away, there was my little bubba bump up on the screen.

Bubba spent the scan wriggling around and moving. We saw lots of legs moving and little feet and toes, arms waving about. Hubby is pretty sure he saw bubba sucking it's thumb too!

The kids came to the scan too, and they were really good... hubby kept them busy with snacks, and by the end, games on our phones. The little man especially was very interested and kept asking where the baby's arms/legs/head, etc were.

The technician we had was nice, but not hugely chatty, so I wasn't told heaps about what we were seeing. From what I could understand and make out, everything looks really good, and bubba seems healthy and happy. Bubba is also measuring perfectly. I saw the technician doing some of the measurements, and they always came up about 19 weeks 1 day or so. Perfect.

We got a CD with heaps of images from the scan, but most of them aren't lovely shots you can easily make out... The one below is the best one we have.

And after much sitting on the fence for a long time, hubby and I decided we would find out the gender of bubba bump... We weren't really given a straight answer, as bubba wasn't in the best position for looking between legs, but the technician said 'there were no obvious boy bits' and she would 'put her money on it being a girl'... so it looks like we might be expecting another little princess. Still, it's not 100%, so I won't go crazy stockpiling pink everything... we'll find out for sure in about 4.5 months.

(sort of) Finding out the gender has made me realise how I really wasn't fussed about whether I was having a boy or a girl. Still, I am itching to go out and buy a cute girly outfit... just to make it feel a bit more real. Yes... I am still semi in denial about this whole pregnancy. I just have so little time to focus on it, it is very much in the background. I'll probably be shocked when the baby actually comes out!

I have had a good week in the healthy pregnancy side of things. I went to the gym last Tuesday and had my program done up, and then went back Thursday. The kids are both in bed by 7pm these days, so I can just go out after they're in bed, do a quick workout, and be home again before 8pm. It seems to work well. I'm planning on going again tonight.

I also went back to pregnancy yoga on Sunday, and this time the usual instructor took it. It was very different from the previous week - much more focused on birth. It was awesome actually. We did some visualisation about the baby, and I honestly almost started crying (I had a couple of tears). Just to actually feel connected to this baby for a moment, and allow myself to be in the moment with nothing but love for the baby growing inside me... it was really lovely.

We also did a few poses helpful for birth, as well as looking at some breathing that will hopefully be useful too. At the end, a very pregnant mumma (41+1) shared a story in front of the class about an experience she had with the midwives at the hospital - with the moral of the story basically being that you always have a bit of wiggle room with their requests and policies, etc. Be assertive, etc. I wish I had been doing this class in my first pregnancy... maybe I could have avoided the caesarian.

Anyway, it was a great class and I'm really looking forward to going again next week.

Oh, and eating... well, I'm trying to up vegetables and not go overboard on the other stuff... but many improvements could still be made.

And below is my belly pic! Definitely growing, and I may even pop a bit more as bubba moves up above my belly button! I actually need some more clothes... wardrobe choices are very limited at the moment!

20 weeks next week!!!