7 weeks, 3 days today... and I feel awful. Just awful. I've been nauseous all day, I want to have a sleep/rest but it's just not going to happen. The little miss has been in an awful mood which doesn't help.
I tell you what, feeling like this again is only making me more sure that this is going to be our last baby. I never want to have to feel like this again. It's not that it's incredibly severe morning sickness... it's that it lasts so long. I am only hitting the worst of it now, and I probably have another month or more of it. So, I hope I read back through this if I ever am contemplating having another. I hate morning sickness so, so much. I just don't cope with it very well. I don't feel like I'm even living, just surviving from one day to the next. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but I am certainly struggling to find joy in my life right now.
Due to being in the midst of morning sickness, my healthy pregnancy desire has slipped somewhat. I'm just eating what I can, which doesn't involve much in the way of fruit and veg. I am still trying though. I had a banana before, and I've been managing a few meals with veggies hidden through them. It is really hit and miss what I can handle from one day to the next. I haven't fallen into full blown junk food only mode either though, so that is something. I haven't been as active. I just can't. I feel too sick or tired in the mornings, so that counts out a morning run. Gym classes are becoming more limited with what I feel up to. I don't think I can do the high cardio stuff, and I don't particularly enjoy tone up. That basically leaves yoga and Pilates. Pilates is on tonight, and I hope to go, but it's really going to depend on whether my nausea has settled down. Last night I made myself go for a walk. I may feel crappy, but I don't want to fall into a completely sedentary lifestyle again either. Definitely not as active as I once was... but I've got to listen to my body... and my body wants to rest, rest, rest.
The other thing worth mentioning is my crazy hormones turning me into a teary mess. Last night I was watching a comedy show with hubby, and I was laughing... and then the laughing turned into that hysterical, uncontrollable laughter, which then turned into crying. Not laughing crying either... I was genuinely cracking into a full blubber-fest cry-a-thon. I managed to control myself before it got too messy, but it was really odd, especially for me. I find myself tearing up at the slightest mushy, heart-felt thing on TV or online, and found myself randomly crying for no good reason today (the only thought I had was maybe I was just feeling sorry for myself haha).
It's hard too because I haven't told many people... there's very few people I can confide in (and they're probably sick of hearing my woes), and when I see most family and friends I have to put on a brave face. At least once my parents know, I can ask them to watch the kids more often so I can rest or curl into a ball. If not just for me, for the kids. It's been pretty boring at home, and I haven't been the most fun person to be around.
Fifty minutes till hubby gets home and I can start the night routine. I am hanging out for the kids to go to bed... I probably won't be too long after.
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