12 weeks 1 day

My mother-in-law stayed overnight, so I sort of missed doing my weekly update yesterday. Anyway, doesn't matter - one day late isn't going to make a difference.

I'm definitely having more good days than bad, but I'm not completely out of the awfulness. I think I mentioned already, but the afternoon after my scan I got hit with unbelievable exhaustion, and later on had a big spew. It came on so suddenly, but I felt so awful while it lasted. I also tried eating a banana for the first time in weeks, and only got halfway through before I gagged and couldn't eat anymore. I've had a few other days where my energy levels are low, and then other days where I'm okay but end up conking out early. Yesterday was like that. I was feeling okay - not great, but okay, and I managed to get through the whole day fine, even cooked tea... then once I got the little miss to bed I went and lie down on our bed, and fell asleep. And that was it for night. I woke up long enough to get changed and brush my teeth, but then went back to bed.

I am starting to find more foods I can handle, and there is even starting to be some enjoyment in eating again, thank goodness! I'm still definitely not back to normal, but I'm on the way.

I forgot to weigh myself before I ate breakfast, but after I was 68.7kg - so I still seem to be holding steady with my weight. Which is good I guess? I don't know - I'm slowly starting to eat more I think, but I still haven't started exercising. I am starting to think about it though. I'm thinking on the weekend I might go for a walk with mum, and then start going a few mornings a week starting next week. I'll have to go in the mornings - it's far too hot at the moment to go any other time! In another week or two I might brave the gym and ask to have a program made up for me - something suitable for a pregnant woman! And I do also want to look into pregnancy yoga... but that's a bit of money. Might have to wait another month... Anyway, I'm starting to feel well enough that I'm contemplating exercise again, so that must be a good sign! Maybe I can finally start having that healthy, active pregnancy I was hoping to have.

What else can I mention? Lots of stretching and aching starting to happen. I was lying in bed the other night on my side and I sneezed, and OMG the pain! Sometimes when I get up from sitting too quickly I feel quite ouchy. I've also started noticing (now that I'm a bit more active), that I get a bit heavy and achey feeling down low when I stand up for an extended period of time. Everything moving and loosening I suppose - pretty standard from what I remember with my last two pregnancies. Apparently my uterus should now be rising above my pubic bone, so I guess I'll start popping out a bit soon. I can feel the top of my uterus when I'm lying down in bed - not that I like poking and prodding too much, I don't want to bother little bubba bump in there!

Emotionally, I almost feel like this pregnancy is only just starting now for me. It kind of feels like I've just been sick and depressed for weeks, and only now do I feel like the pregnancy has started. The scan was definitely a turning point - it makes it seem real, and knowing there is a healthy bubba in there gives me that reassurance I needed to allow myself to 'feel' pregnant. And because I only now have started feeling pregnant, I'm a bit behind in my head about where I am in the pregnancy. Like I can't quite wrap my head around that I'll be starting to show over the next few weeks (most likely), and I can see my midwife Anna in 4 weeks, and that in 8 weeks I'll be halfway through the pregnancy. My confused mindset is making the pregnancy go fast! On my good days I even kind of forget that I am pregnant, as my good days become more and more, and I'm absorbed in other things (namely my little man starting school *sob*), weeks will have passed without me even realising. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not, the pregnancy going fast. For now it feels good, cause I'm still coming out of the awfulness of the first trimester, but I'm hoping I can catch moments to savour and enjoy this (my last) pregnancy.

And here is my 12 week 1 day belly pic. I think I am starting to grow a little? I definitely have days when I have a little belly, and then other times when I don't think I've grown at all. Anyway... I'm sure we will see some growth over the next few weeks!