I've had a few busy days. Tuesday was my wedding anniversary. Eight years married, and fourteen+ years together. I got my first ever dozen roses, and we went out for dinner which was really nice. We talked about the pregnancy a bit - we don't get to talk about it that often openly because we're not telling people yet. Hubby is still pretty excited from what I can tell, though I think he occasionally forgets the finer points. He keeps trying to offer me alcohol haha!
Yesterday was my birthday, and it was a very full day. Lots of food! I went out to the movies in the evening with a couple of friends and didn't get out till after 11pm. Very late night for me, especially after waking at 5am. I almost nodded off in the movie a couple of times. I am feeling almost hungover today I am so tired, and as a result I have very little patience with the kids. Have already yelled at them a couple of times which isn't like me.
So, today is going to be a quiet one, which means I can catch up here.
I've been feeling more emotional than usual the last few days. I find myself tearing up over random things that wouldn't usually affect me that way, and today I honestly feel like I need to shut myself in my room and have a big, messy, loud cry. Being really tired doesn't help either.
I'm so over breastfeeding the little miss. She is 2.5 and very demanding about it. I am so ready for her to wean, but actively weaning her feels like too much effort. I'm desperately hoping she'll wean while I'm pregnant, and soon too. Already, I'm finding the feeling of her feeding pretty awful. I'm hoping this doesn't develop into full blown breastfeeding aversion like I had when I was pregnant with the little miss and still feeding the little man. That was absolutely awful. I remember curling my toes and gritting my teeth through feeds. Awful *shudders*.
I've had moments over the past few days where I haven't felt pregnant at all. I did another pregnancy test just to try and feel like I was, but it didn't really help. However, this morning I found the diary I kept when I was pregnant with the little man, and reading that has really helped. All the symptoms I mention (slight nausea, bloating, gassiness, diarrhoea, being emotional, feeling a bit weak and tired, etc) I am having now too. Even the feelings, the worries, etc are the same. It definitely helped put my mind at ease. Yes, I am pregnant, And yes, what I'm experiencing is normal.
Another thing I have noticed recently is that I'm a little off food in general. No food aversions, but the whole process of eating just isn't as appealing as it usually is. I'm finding myself drawn to savoury food, and kind of just tolerating the sweet stuff rather than really enjoying it. I bought lollies at the lolly shop for the movie last night, and I barely touched them. Before I had some of these cheese flavoured rice cracker things that taste like cheezels, and man they were good!
I'm finding being pregnant without telling those around me kind of lonely. It's all I think about, and all I want to do is talk about it, but I can't. I still want to wait to tell most people. Christmas for our families (I'll be 9 weeks), and 12 weeks for everyone else. I do, however, plan on telling my little sister much sooner. Next week in fact. I had always told her I would tell her when I was pregnant next, and also, she moves to Melbourne just after Christmas, so this seems like something nice we can share before she leaves us. I probably would have told her before now, except that we have a couple of cousins visiting and she is busy with them. Plus, I didn't want to make it any more difficult for her to keep my secret.
Once my sister knows, I'll be able to utilise her as a babysitter so I can go to the doctors for my blood test and to get a referral for a scan, etc. I'm really looking forward to telling her. To telling someone! I should be able to in five or six days.
The last thing I wanted to talk about was how I'm going with maintaining my healthy lifestyle whilst pregnant. I'm going okay. Exercising most days in some form or other. Eating not quite as good as it should be, but it was my birthday, so I think that's a good excuse. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that exercise is not only safe, but beneficial in pregnancy. For some reason I have this idea in my head I shouldn't be exercising, despite having read plenty to support the opposite. The overheating being a risk has me worried though. You do overheat when you exercise! So, how much is too much? I did Group Kick at the gym last night, and that's a pretty full on class. I got pretty hot and sweaty, took it easier when I felt I needed to, and I kept hydrated throughout... but I still got pretty hot. Is that okay? I just don't know.
Anyway, that is all. Now, I just need to get through this day. I would love a nap!
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